My 2 Sense My 2 Sense

My 2 Sense
The Relationship Test

Questions

The Relationship Test has been designed with couples in mind. Do you have a good, healthy, enriching relationship? Is your significant other your best friend? Do you share the same values, goals and dreams? The Relationship Test offers the opportunity to assess your relationship with your mate and help you improve it through open and honest communication, which is the basis of successful long-term relationships.

For the sake of brevity the initials SO will stand for significant other.

GENERAL: Answer the following questions with a "Yes" or a "No".

1 Are you 'in love' with your SO?
Is your SO 'in love' with you?
2 Do you consider your SO your best friend? (Note: see The Friendship Test)
Does your SO consider you his/her best friend?
3 Do you give your SO the benefit of the doubt in a disagreement?
Does your SO give you the benefit of the doubt in a disagreement?
4 Do you put your SO's happiness before your own, within reason?
Does your SO put your happiness before his/her own, within reason?
5 Do you share a lot of your SO's interests?
Does your SO share a lot of your interests?
6 Do you think your SO shares equally in domestic chores?
Does your SO think you share equally in domestic chores?
7 Do you think that you and your SO should take all your vacations together?
Does your SO think that you and should take all your vacations together?
8 Would you risk your life for your SO?
Would your SO risk his/her life for you?
9 Do you respect your SO's privacy?
Does your SO respect your privacy?
10 Do you trust your SO?
Does your SO trust you?
11 Do you respect your SO's job?
Does your SO respect your job?
12 If your SO took up a dangerous hobby or sport would you be supportive?
If you took up a dangerous hobby or sport, would your SO be supportive?
13 Do you make an effort to get along with your SO's relatives?
Does your SO make an effort to get along with your relatives?
14 Do you make an effort to get along with your SO's friends?
Does your SO make an effort to get along with your friends?
15 If your SO decided to change their health lifestyle (became a vegetarian, quit smoking, etc.), would you honor their decision?
If you decided to change your health lifestyle (became a vegetarian, quit smoking, etc.), would your SO honor your decision?
16 If you want to do something and your SO doesn't, would you:
  1. Talk them into it?
  2. Do it yourself and not worry about them not wanting to do it?
  3. Do it yourself and resent them for not doing it with you?
  4. Not do it yourself and resent them for not wanting to do it with you?
If your SO wanted to do something and you didn't, would s/he:
  1. Talk you into it?
  2. Do it themselves and not worry about you not wanting to do it?
  3. Do it themselves and resent you for not doing it with them?
  4. Not do it themselves and resent you for not wanting to do it?
17 If your SO was doing something illegal, would you :
  1. Ask them to stop?
  2. Report them?
  3. Break up?
If you were doing something illegal, would your SO:
  1. Ask you to stop?
  2. Report you?
  3. Break up?
18 Is your SO romantic enough for you?
Does your SO say you are romantic enough for them?
19 Do you think that you and your SO should share similar political beliefs?
Does your SO think that you should share similar political beliefs?
20 Do you think that you and your SO should share similar spiritual beliefs?
Does your SO think that you and s/he should share similar spiritual beliefs?
21 Do you consider your SO thoughtful?
Does your SO consider you to be thoughtful?

COMMITTMENT: The true test of love.

22 Do you put your relationship before your individual will and needs?
Does your SO put your relationship before his/her individual will and needs?
23 Do you put your relationship before your children?
Does your SO put your relationship before their children?
24 Do you put your relationship before your family of origin?
Does your SO put your relationship before their family of origin?
25 Do you put your relationship before your work?
Does your SO put your relationship before their work?
26 Do you put your relationship before your vocation (hobbies, sports, extracurricular activities)?
Does your SO put your relationship before their vocation?
27 Do you think your SO spends enough quality time with you?
Does your SO think you spend enough quality time with them?
28 If your SO became severely disabled, would that affect your commitment to the relationship (loss of limb, sight, masectomy, colostomy)?
If you became severely disabled, would that affect your SO's commitment to the relationship?
29 If your SO changed his/her appearance significantly (weight, hair, cosmetic surgery, etc.), would it put a strain on your relationship?
If you changed your appearance significantly would your SO feel it put a strain on your relationship?
30 Do you think that your relationship is a life-long commitment?
Does your SO think that your relationship is a life-long commitment?
31 If your SO was to be transferred to another city and you didn't want to move, would you:
  1. Try to make him/her stay because of your job and/or family?
  2. Acquiesce and make the personal adjustments to a new place?
  3. Break up and stay put?
If you were to be transferred to another city and your SO didn't want to move, would s/he:
  1. Try to make you stay because of their job and/or family?
  2. Acquiesce and make the personal adjustments to a new place?
  3. Break up and stay put?
32 Are you committed enough to have children with your SO? (assuming you both want children)
Is your SO committed enough to have children with you? (assuming you both want children)
33 Do you think that your relationship is secure enough to have joint ownership of property or possessions?
Does your SO think that your relationship is secure enough to have joint ownership of property or possessions?

PSYCHOLOGICAL: Healthy minds create healthy relationships.

34 If your relationship is in difficulty, would you be willing to get professional help?
If your relationship is in difficulty, would your SO be willing to get professional help?
35 Do you think your SO has good communication skills?
Does your SO think you have good communication skills?
36 Do you think that you and your SO spend enough time talking about and working on your relationship?
Does your SO think that you and s/he spend enough time talking about and working on your relationship?
37 Do you have to know where your SO is and what they're doing at all times?
Does your SO have to know where you are and what you're doing at all times?
38 If your SO was doing something self-destructive, would you:
  1. Express your concern and suggest s/he get help?
  2. Trust your SO to handle it themselves?
  3. Force them to get help (by ultimatum or intervention)?
If you were doing something self-destructive, would your SO:
  1. Express his/her concern and suggest you get help?
  2. Trust you to handle it yourself?
  3. Force you to get help (by ultimatum or intervention)?
39 If your SO was abusive to you once, would you:
  1. Do nothing and hope it was just a one-time occurrence?
  2. Suggest they get help, and get help yourself?
  3. Break up?
If you were abusive to your SO once, would s/he:
  1. Do nothing and hope it was just a one-time occurrence?
  2. Suggest you get help, and get help themself?
  3. Break up?
40 If your SO was abusive a second time would you leave?
If you were abusive a second time would your SO leave?
41 Do you think that it's all right for you to talk to others in detail about your relationship with your SO?
Does your SO think that it's all right for him/her to talk to others in detail about your relationship?

FINANCIAL: Agreement on money issues is a must.

42 Do you think that your domestic financial responsibilities should be split:
  1. 50/50?
  2. According to your respective incomes?
Does your SO think your domestic financial responsibilities should be split:
  1. 50/50?
  2. According to your respective incomes?
43 Do you think you and your SO should have a joint bank account?
Does your SO think you should have a joint bank account?
44 Do you feel you're obligated to loan your SO money?
Does your SO feel they're obligated to loan you money?
45 Do you feel obligated to pay back money you borrow from your SO?
Does your SO feel obligated to pay back money s/he borrows from you?
46 Do you think you should consult with your SO before spending money on yourself from your joint account if you had one?
Does your SO think s/he should consult with you before spending money on him/herself from your joint account if you had one?
47 If you won a lottery, do you think you should automatically split it 50/50 with your SO?
If your SO won a lottery, would s/he think they should automatically split it 50/50 with you?
48 If your SO became unemployed, would you support him/her until another job was found?
If you became unemployed, would your SO support you until another job was found?

SEXUAL RELATIONS: Both partners must have their needs met.

49 Are you satisfied with your sexual relationship with your partner? (Note: see The Sex Test)
Is your SO satisfied with your sexual relationship?
50 If your sex life is not satisfactory, would you be willing to discuss it with your SO?
If your sex life is not satisfactory, would your SO be willing to discuss it with you?
51 If your SO was cheating on you, would you want to know?
If your SO were cheating on you, would s/he tell you?
52 If you were cheating on your SO, would you tell him/her?
If you were cheating on your SO, would s/he want to know?
53 If you found out that your SO was carrying on a sexual relationship with someone on the Internet, would you consider it cheating?
If your SO found out that you were carrying on a sexual relationship with someone on the Internet, would s/he consider it cheating?
54 If your SO developed an interest in pornography (magazines, movies, strip bars), to the detriment of your sexual relationship, would you be concerned?
If you developed an interest in pornography to the detriment of your sexual relationship, would your SO be concerned?
55 Do you think you should reveal all to your SO about your previous relationships or sexual experiences?
Does your SO think they should reveal all to you about their previous relationships or sexual experiences?
56 If your SO was permanently unable to have sexual relations would you stay with him/her?
If you were permanently unable to have sexual relations would your SO stay with you?

Click for the Conclusions

If you have questions, comments or suggestions, Email us at: info@my2sense.ca
Copyright © 1999-2012 C.F. Smith- All Rights Reserved.