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The Friendship Test

Questions

The Friendship Test has been designed to help people determine the quality of their friendships. Do you make a good friend? Are your friends good friends to you? The Friendship Test offers the opportunity to look at some issues, assess your relationships and help you improve on them through open and honest dialogue, which is the basis of healthy and enriching friendships.

GENERAL: Answer the following questions with a "Yes" or a "No".

1 Would you risk your life for your friend? No
Do you think your friend would risk their life for you?
2 Would you lie for your friend? No
Do you think your friend would lie for you?
3 If your friend committed a crime would you report them? No
If you committed a crime would your friend report you?
4 Could you live with your friend and maintain the friendship? No
Could your friend live with you and maintain the friendship?
5 If your friend unconsciously or mistakenly did something which hurt you, would you forgive them? No
If you unconsciously or mistakenly did something which hurt your friend, would your friend forgive you?
6 Would you inconvenience yourself or go out of your way making a sacrifice for your friend? No
Would your friend inconvenience themself or go out of their way to make a sacrifice for you?
7 If your friend had to move away, would you support their move rather than try to make them stay? No
If you had to move away, would your friend support your decision rather than try to make you stay?
8 If your friend damaged or lost something of yours and repaired or replaced it, would you hold a grudge? No
If you damaged or lost something of your friend's and repaired or replaced it, would your friend hold a grudge?
9 If you wanted to do something and your friend didn't, would you:
  1. Talk them into it?
  2. Do it yourself and not worry about them not wanting to do it?
  3. Do it yourself and resent them for not doing it with you?
  4. Not do it yourself and resent them for not wanting to do it with you?
If your friend wanted to do something and you didn't, would s/he:
  1. Talk you into it?
  2. Do it themself and not worry about you not wanting to do it?
  3. Do it themself and resent you for not doing it with them?
  4. Not do it themself and resent you for not wanting to do it?
10 If your friend died, would you take on their responsibilities that were not being met by others, ie: caring for their kids, parents or pets? No
If you died, would your friend take on your responsibilities that were not being met by others, ie: caring for their kids, parents or pets?
11 Do you think you should share all your friend's interests? No
Do you think your friend should share all your interests?
12 Do you always follow through on your promises to your friend, regardless of the circumstances? No
Does your friend always follow through on their promises to you, regardless of the circumstances?

FINANCIAL ASPECTS: Money matters.

13 Would you borrow money from your friend? No
Would your friend borrow money from you?
14 If you loaned your friend money and they didn't repay, would you be upset? No
If you borrowed money from your friend and didn't repay them, would they be upset?
15 Is your friend in your will, or would you put him/her in if you were to write one? No
Are you in your friend's will, or would s/he put you in if they were to write one?
16 Would you enter into a business partnership with your friend? No
Would your friend enter into a business partnership with you?
17 If you won a lottery would you:
  1. Give your friend cash, unconditionally.
  2. Give your friend gifts.
  3. Not give them anything.
If your friend won a lottery would s/he:
  1. Give you cash, unconditionally.
  2. Give you gifts.
  3. Not give you anything.

ROMANTIC & SEXUAL ASPECTS: Doing the right thing.

18 Would you drop your friend if s/he dated your ex-lover/boyfriend/spouse? No
Would your friend drop you if you dated his/her ex-lover/boyfriend/spouse?
19 If your friend's spouse was cheating on him/her would you tell them? No
If your spouse was cheating on you would your friend tell you?
20 Would you be polite and nice to your friend's significant other even if you didn't like him or her? No
Would your friend be polite and nice to your significant other even if s/he didn't like them?
21 Do you think your friendship should come before your romantic relationships? No
Does your friend think your friendship should come before their romantic relationships?
22 If your friend came on to you sexually, would you be upset or end the friendship? No
If you came on to your friend sexually, would they be upset or end the friendship?
23 If you saw your friend in a bad relationship, would you tell them or warn them? No
If your friend saw you in a bad relationship, would they tell you or warn you?

PSYCHOLOGICAL ASPECTS: Are you on the same page?

24 If your friend was being self-destructive, would you call them on it? No
If you were being self-destructive, would your friend call you on it?
25 Would you ask your friend first before offering advice? No
Would your friend ask you first before offering advice?
26 If your friend chose not to take your advice, would you get upset with them? No
If you chose not to take your friend's advice, would they get upset with you?
27 Do you overlook your friend's eccentricities? No
Does your friend overlook your eccentricities?
28 Are you jealous of the time and attention your friend pays to you? No
Is your friend jealous of the time and attention you pay to them?
29 Are you ever jealous of your friend's other relationships? No
Is your friend ever jealous of your other relationships?
30 Do you acknowledge and accept your friend's thoughts or feelings even when you adamantly disagree with them? No
Does your friend acknowledge and accept your thoughts and feelings even when they adamantly disagree with you?
31 Do you allow your friend to take advantage of you? No
Does your friend allow you to take advantage of them?
32 Do you try to solve your friend's problems without being asked? No
Does your friend try to solve your problems without being asked?
33 If your friend had a serious problem and was reluctant to get the proper help, would you encourage them to get help even if it meant causing some bad feelings? No
If you had a serious problem and were reluctant to get help, would your friend encourage you to get help even if it meant causing some bad feelings?
34 If your friend said you are not carrying your weight in the relationship, would you accept that this may be true? No
If you told your friend they were not carrying their weight in the relationship, would they accept that this may be true?
35 If your friend criticized you about something, would you look at the issue objectively and accept it if it turned out to be a valid criticism, rather than be resentful of their criticism? No
If you criticized your friend about something, would they look at the issue objectively and accept it if it turned out to be a valid criticism, rather than be resentful of your criticism?
36 Do you think there are two sets of rules, one for you and one for your friend? No
Does your friend think there are two sets of rules, one for them and one for you?
37 Do you feel secure in your relationship with your friend? Does your friend feel secure in their friendship with you?
38 Do you allow your friend space and time to themselves? No
Does your friend allow you space and time to yourself?
39 Do you feel if you get too intimate or close to your friend, s/he will cut you off or withdraw? No
Does your friend feel if they get too intimate or close to you, you will cut them off or withdraw?
40 Do you give your friend the benefit of the doubt in a disagreement? No
Does your friend give you the benefit of the doubt in a disagreement?

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