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A World of Excuses

June 25, 2010
A World of Excuses How many times have you heard, "Sorry, I got so busy," or how about, "Sorry, I had so much to do," to excuse the lack of doing something.

What the person really means is that they don't have to be held accountable for not doing things they said they'd do.

Or how about, "Sorry I'm late, I started running behind," which means that their time is more important than your time and they are to be forgiven for their tardiness for some unknown reason.

I find it amusing that it's always the same people who are late for regular events or meetings and usually by the same amount of time. If you moved the meeting later by that amount of time they'd still be late. You could suggest they leave the appropriate amount of time earlier, but it would do no good. They might agree to it and still be late.

How about, "Oh gee, I just totally forgot," which tells us that the person didn't feel whatever they forgot was important enough to remember regardless of the impact on anyone else. They don't seem to forget things that are important to them .

It's also beyond me why people don't return phone calls and emails in a timely manner. Unless they are unsolictied sales pitches, in business its called professional courtesy and proper business practices. Personally, its just plain polite, good manners and consideration of others. "Oh sorry, didn't check my messages." Yeah right.

I find it hilarious that people who make excuses usually are not too forgiving of others who do the same. Excuses negate responsibility, and responsibility is one of the things that defines us as human. And often excusing a fault only makes the fault worse.

Making an excuse is creating a cover-up to hide behavior we are ashamed of from both others and ourselves. It can become unconscious to the point that when someone calls you on it, you get angry, and that is a sure fire way to realize they are right.

Narcissism may or may not be a factor in making excuses, depending of course on the person and degree that they are defensive and deluding themselves. And I won't even get into the excuses politicians make to cover their misjudgments, incompetence and broken promises.

The integrated personality is one which says what he/she means and does what he/she says. Be impeccable with your word. By fulfilling our promises we win the trust of others who then will go the extra mile for us. Win/win.

Courtney Smith