Ego, Entitlement & Narcissism
When being human is just not enough
September 14, 2014
As individuals, they can be humble, moderate and philanthropic or arrogant, greedy and selfish.
There are also wannabe big shots, pretender big shots, who also are arrogant, greedy and selfish. An egomaniac without substance is an asshole.
Everyone wants to be a big shot; to be someone important or influential, to lead and direct others; the big man on campus, the boss man, the go-to guy with clout. Well not everyone.
It’s all about ego and power and money. Some become big shots through money; inherited or earned as salaried executives or entrepreneurs. Others seek that status through politics. The desire and/or need to be a big shot crosses all social economic boundaries, from wanting to become president of a strata council to becoming Prime Minister; from becoming head janitor to promotion to plant manager. Like everything in this world, it’s all relative.
As Bill the Bard once said, “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.” And some like to think they have greatness within them!
Many great people have big egos; artists, sports figures, show business stars, politicians, businessmen, union leaders and clergy.
So why does someone even want to be a big shot?
There are many reasons, both good and bad; the desire to serve others or the need to exercise power and dominate others. In a good way, this means that the money and power allow you to achieve things, make things happen and influence people and events. Rich guys like Bill Gates, Ted Turner and Warren Buffet have established the Giving Pledge to dedicate the majority of their wealth to philanthropy. And powerful men like Bill Clinton and Oprah Winfrey use their influence for the good of mankind.
In a bad way, being a big shot means getting to do whatever you want without anyone telling you what, or what not, to do.
The more rich and powerful you are, the more you can get away with. The need to be successful, and be seen to be successful. The pathological need to overcompensate for feelings of low self worth. The need to feel “special” and separate and “above” others, ergo, narcissism.
And this explains why when incompetent, arrogant, crooked or tyrannical big shots are demoted or fired, lose office, are overthrown, or killed, they are invariably replaced by exactly the same kind of guy.
||In my opinion, there are two forces in the Universe. Love and Fear. Actually, Fear isn't so much a force as it is the absence of Love. And Fear exists because of ego. Unhealthy ego to be sure. All bad things like hatred, arrogance, dishonesty, racism, violence and war come out of Fear - ergo ego.
Now a healthy ego is a good thing. Great things come from great people and great people tend to have an abundance of ego. People with a greater than average amount of personal ego create and produce and achieve things because of a need to stand apart from others. They have a need to express their uniqueness.
We live in a world of duality: good and evil, right and wrong, happiness and sadness. Without one there can’t be the other. And as is frequently seen, a virtue can easily be inverted to become its opposite. The cop becomes a robber, the priest becomes a pervert, the banker becomes a thief.
|Ego and Narcissism
Ego is an essential part of human beings as it fosters self-esteem. Along with humility, compassion, integrity, nobility, love, caring and assertiveness, ego is an essential foundation block of dominance. However, ego out of control is the opposite and is the enemy of leadership.
Extreme egotism is called narcissism wherein the narcissist does not acknowledge the worth of others. All things revolve around him or her and the existence of others is merely to serve the needs and desires of them.
|The power of dishonourable big shots means not having to take responsibility for ones actions, or buying one’s way out of trouble. These guys do not feel constrained by social convention or in some cases by the law, sports stars ike O.J. Simpson, business tycoons like the Koch brothers, politicians too numerous to mention and of course the kings of Wall Street.
Some big shots strive to live lavish lifestyles as they feel entitled and above the rest of us; businessmen like Donald Trump, evangelical clowns like Joel Osteen and Benny Hinn, pop stars like Victoria Beckham and Beyonce, pseudo celebrities like all the Kardashians and again, the wolves of Wall Street with their $80 million mansions on Long Island.
So what’s with Premiers Christy Clark, Glen Clark and Mayor Gregor Robertson? They don't seem to want to enrich themselves by getting elected. So it must simply be, ego; for whatever insecurity each of them has had, they feel they are so intelligent that they alone must rule others. Neither of them is evil but then again they are not serving the people as much as they are serving their own egos, and that is not leadership. Gordon Campbell flat out lied about the HST and his protégé, Christy Clark yaps about “families” while 1 in 7 children in this province go to bed hungry. Glen Clark blew $400 million on badly conceived and built Fast Ferries for which he took no responsibility and ended up resigning over influence peddling for a free deck. And Gregor Robertson wants the personal legacy of making Vancouver the greenest city in the world without public referendums and to hell with everyone who doesn’t ride a bike.
Then of course there are the real badasses, the dictators and tyrants throughout the world, past present and future; Syria dictator Bashar al-Assad, ISIS leader Abu Bakr Al-Bagdadi currently use power to terrorize the middle east much like the late Saddam Hussein and Muammar Gaddafi and their beloved offspring did while alive. These ruthless, devious, nasty motherfuckers lived lavish lifestyles with power being held by terror.
Other big shots need to gain power as they are essentially incompetent or stupid or both. Over compensating Sarah Palin and Rick Perry immediately come to mind, along with a host of other dumbasses like Ted Cruz, Mitch McConnell and Michelle Bachman. The Republican party is full of these types. And let’s not forget our own buffoons Rob Ford and crooks like Mike Duffy.
And who can forget the late John Gotti, the Teflon Don. This guy was so full of himself he just begged to be imprisoned by not having the brains to realize the FBI might be bugging him. He, like Joseph Bonanno, needed to be admired and respected by the public at large which is in direct opposition to the Mafia protocol of flying under the radar. Lucky for him he got prison rather than whacked like Bonanno. Ego.
Money for Nothing
For those who live by the mantra that money is power, greed, avarice
and materialism are both the obvious and crudest ways to display one's specialness. Whether it be the local car dealer, the corporate CEO or the influence pedding politician, it's all the same. With money you can fly business class, or better yet, own your own plane, live in multiple fancy houses and drive ridiculously expensive cars.
Is there any other group of self-serving assholes than the members of the International Olympic Committee? The IOC are the kings and queens of greed, demanding and receiving more lavish perks than a multi-platininum rock star. Since the birth of the modern Olympics, this bunch have held out the granting of venues to the cities who put the most dinero in their greedy little pockets. And for what reason? So that they can feel they are more special than you.
Wall Street Wankers
Is there any other group of people who are so enamoured of being big shots; who feel entitled to huge salaries, bonuses and stock options? Since most of the financial firms, banks and insurance companies on Wall Street were begun many years ago, like JP Morgan, the current batch of CEOs are salaried executives who carry on the corporate tradition of kiniving to steal from the public with an infinite variety of financial “instruments” like derivatives, sub-prime mortgages and credit default swaps.
These guys and gals are the epitome of the corporate culture of entitlement which I call the CEO disease. None have them have gone to jail for the corruption of the 2008 stock market crash. The executives of Ford, GM and Chrysler had the gall to fly on private jets to Washington to beg for bail out money.
These executives are the ones who own $40 million penthouses in Manhattan and $80 million dollar houses on Long Island. At this point I must reassure the reader that I am not some socialist who hates rich people. I am a small “c” capitalist who simply objects to those who make money by deception. The stock market is rigged, the banks favour the rich at the expense of their regular customers and the insurance companies rake in gazillions and have to be sued to payout claims.
Howe Street Rounders
On a local and much lower level
are stock brokers and promoters on Howe Street. There are dozens of companies of all types, mining, forestry, products, services and dot.coms on Howe Street that exist for one reason only, and that is so there executives can live large. Now these big shots don't own long island mansions, but they do own homes in the British Properties and Shawnessy, drive Mercedes and wear Armani.
How do they do it? Everyone can recall the old Vancouver Stock Exchange truism, that on the VSE 80% of investors lose money, and 40% lose ALL their money so even though their companies will never amount to anything, they continue to sell shares so they can skim from the top to support their lifestyles and of course their egos.
Many big shots need to have legacies; hospitals, schools and streets named after them. Some give bequeathments in order to buy such honours if they have not achieved honourable status by their works. Others, the good guys like Nelson Mandela deserve such tributes, unlike Donald Trump who has to put his name on a sign on every building he builds.
Local big shot, Larry Berg, former CEO of YVR has our airport as his legacy. He rebuilt the entire facilty which is a good thing, and turned it into an art gallery which was not necessarily so good. How much of it was to impress tourists and how much for his legacy is hard to say. And hey, how tough is it to build edifices when they are financed by a mandatory "airport fee" with no public input? Now they are building a high-end designer shopping mall right on the final approach to the runway for only one reason, to make more money. God help YVR if a plane plows through the mall on landing or takeoff. But I digress.
My view is that although it is great to honour our heroes, it is egotistical for any individual to seek to have themselves honoured in such a way. Countless zillions have lived on this earth since the dawn of time. Each unique and special in their own way and most live and die, only to be remembered by those they have loved and who have loved them. And that should be the real legacy of a person.
|Trophy Wives & Blowjobs
|Aside from mansions all over the world, fast cars and private jets, the number one perk of wealth and power is the trophy wife. There is no more Alpha male way of showing you are a big shot than to marry some dazzling arm candy.
My vote for the queen of trophy wives would be Marlen Cowpland, wife of big shot Ottawa computer weasel Michael Cowpland, multi-gazillionaire founder of Corel Corp.
The photo shows her at the 1999 World Design Contest annual gala at Corel Centre in Ottawa wearing a leather jumpsuit with a solid gold breastplate that covered her left boob. On the gold boob was a diamond nipple.
The other boob/nipple was clearly visible through the fabric. The outfit cost over a million dollars. This is both a bizarre and disgusting display of tacky wealth.
NOTE: Is there any significance to the leash attached to her breast plate? Seems kind of kinky master/slave to me.Below she shows off her store bought boobs in public.
|It’s only natural that women gravitate to men of power. At one time it was physical power, while today it is money and business or political power. So what qualifies a woman to get chosen to be Mrs. Big Shot? As Jerry Hall, former wife of Mick Jagger so eloquently put it, “My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit”
There you have it. It all comes down to blowjobs. Some men get tired of their aging wives and the rich and powerful ones can afford to trade them in on a new models, both figuratively and literally.
I’m thinking those kinds of men probably never did have exciting sex lives with their wives due to having ignored them while they climbed the ladder of success. Now they have the time, money and inclination to kick the wife to the curb and pickup a hottie.
|What is despicable is not the infidelity. It’s the arrogance, hypocrisy, and the cruelty.
That said, all the above is consistent with the natural laws of attraction. Men are attracted to desireable buxom young women because that suggests they are both sexual and nuturing. Women are attracted to older strong, wealthy and powerful men because that suggests they are protectors who ensure security, physically emotionally and financially.
The social phenomenon known as sugar daddies and sugar babies, is completely consensual, so who's to judge? In fact it has become huge with online websites and meet and greets connecting these folks. Oh, and yes...there are sugar mamas and sugar boys as well.
Ego and Leadership
A healthy ego is part of the makeup of a good leader. It is an unspoken quality that anyone can sense. An unhealthy ego is the nemesis of a leader, which when exposed, reveals him or her to be a paper tiger and a sham. Historically, fools reveal themselves in the course of time.
I think the qualities of a leader are as follows:
- Humility – walk softly with the confidence of knowing who and what you are
- Integrity – walk the walk. Do what you say. Practice what you preach.
- Compassion – its not ALL about YOU.
- A Sense of Propriety – it is not a competition to see who the MOST powerful is among other Alpha types. To enter into this kind of self-important arrogance is the antithesis of leadership
- Nobility – pettiness has no place in leadership
- Balance - psychologically sound
So why did I even write about this topic? Because, like many people, I’m fascinated by the rich and famous: a musing on the qualities and nature of those I admire and those I despise.
When I was in my twenties I wanted to be rich and famous. Driven as I was, by my thirties I realized I did not have the right stuff to become a big shot and the desire to be so disappeared. It was replaced by my wish to do the best I could at my chosen career, to be as good as possible to others, and to seek nothing more than to be comfortable, physically, emotionally and mentally. My success at this will be determined by those who know me.
Just my opinion,